How Can I Find Out if My Wife Filed for Divorce in San Diego?
This week’s question comes from an email. The San Diego husband and father writes:
My wife wants a divorce. Where online can I find out if she’s filed in our county?
In some states, it would be impossible for you to find this information online. You would then have to drive to your local courthouse and send the clerk to dig through recent filings to find out if your spouse had filed for divorce.
Fortunately, California is ahead of the curve when it comes to electronic records, and you can find this information online.
You need to go to the website of the Superior Court for your area. Most of the San Diego metropolitan area is served by the San Diego Superior Court:
From this website, you need to access the court index where you will be able to search by party name or case number. Click on search using the party name, which takes you to the screen below.
From this screen make sure to select domestic as the type of case, the county where you reside, and fill out your spouse’s information.
If any results are generated, you should see the filing date, case number, and where the case is filed. In most cases this is as much info as you can see relating to the filing. To get more detailed information about the case you will need to physically go to the courthouse.
Unfortunately, most husbands and fathers are not lucky enough to get a fair warning about an impending divorce. Instead, they find out as a result of being served papers. If this sounds like your situation and you have further questions give us a call and we’ll answer them over-the-phone at no charge.
Goldberg Jones | Divorce For Men
Phone: (619) 243-0888 Email: Contact Us
Am I responsible for my wife’s credit card debt in a divorce?
We got this question from a San Diego husband and father a few days back:
Am I responsible for my wife’s unscrupulous spending and credit card and loan debts that are in her name?
Unfortunately, the Court does not focus on whose name is on the card; instead, it treats both you and your wife’s spending as one community, and if she ran up the debt before you were separated, then there aren’t too many options.
Because California is a community property state, the general rule is that the Court will equally split both your property and your debts. Any debts that you have accrued while you are married will be considered community debts.
However, the family code does allow for certain exceptions if her spending was not for the “benefit of the community.” § 2625 states:
All separate debts, including those debts incurred by a spouse during marriage and before the date of separation that were not incurred for the benefit of the community, shall be confirmed without offset to the spouse who incurred the debt.
Because you say that her spending was frivolous, you may be able to claim that her expenses were not for the “benefit of the community.” Unfortunately, in practice, this argument is very hard to win. While you may argue that her clothing purchases and spa trips did not benefit the community, she can respond that her mental health, appearance, and well-being are all important considerations of the community.
It’s ultimately a court decision, but unless she embarked on a Blu Cantrell style revenge spending spree, the Court will likely divvy up the debt between the two of you.
As for the loan debts, timing is important. If she ran up these debts before you were married, then the Court will assign the debt to her. As § 2621 states, “debts incurred by either spouse before the date of marriage shall be confirmed without offset to the spouse who incurred the debt.”
If she runs up a debt after you separated, the Court will look at whether or not the debt is for the “common necessaries of life.” Common bills like phone, power, and water will be equally divided, while your wife will be required to pay for her post-separation trip to Vegas.
In these situations, an experienced San Diego divorce attorney can be especially valuable. We’ve seen enough of these cases to know which debts are worth contesting and which arguments are going to help persuade the Court in your direction. If you have questions about debt or separation of property in divorce, give us a call and we’ll answer your phone questions at no charge. Call - (619) 243-0888
Kobe Bryant Divorce: How 10 years and a day is going to sting
Aah, Kobe Bryant. He provides endless entertainment both in and on the court. However, it sounds like his most recent problem will be the most costly because he stands to lose half of his fortune. Not only has his wife filed for divorce, but she filed just after crossing the fabled 10-year mark.
One thing that has bothered me about the media coverage of this divorce is how often the press is getting the 10-year rule wrong. Most media outlets conclude that Vanessa will automatically get millions of dollars of alimony for the rest of her life, but this isn’t true. While Vanessa has received some great advice from her lawyer, passing the 10-year mark is not a slam dunk for her. The court must act reasonably and Kobe can still petition to modify the support agreement.
Any amount of money that she will receive must be reasonable both in amount and in time frame. To determine what is reasonable, the court is going to look at many factors listed in Cal. Fam. Code §4320. Some factors include the following:
- earning capacity,
- marketable skills,
- the needs of each party based on the standard of living established during the marriage,
- and the length of marriage.
Length of marriage is important. For marriages that are less than 10 years, the court defaults to a support period of half the length of the marriage. So, if they had been married for eight years, she would receive four years of support. For over 10 years, the court has no such presumption and may order longer periods of support. Typically the initial order by the court will require spousal support until she remarries or dies.
Nevertheless, the ultimate goal is that the supported party be self-supporting within a reasonable period of time, and the law gives the court jurisdiction to modify support if the situation changes. Cal. Fam. Code §4336 provides the court indefinite jurisdiction over the spousal support for marriages lasting over ten years. This does not mean that Kobe will have to pay Vanessa support for the rest of her life. Both parties have the right to petition the court to extend, modify, or terminate her support if her situation changes.
Or course, since they claim that the details of the divorce have already been worked out between the parties, we won’t get to see this process play out in court. But, if negotiations break down, between the allegations of cheating, no prenup, and a longer than 10-year marriage, we could see a very messy court battle
Top 5 things to prepare for your San Diego Divorce Lawyer
One common question that we get is “what should I bring to my first meeting with my attorney?”
1. Questions
During the divorce process, it is key to keep yourself informed about the divorce proceedings. Any time you are confused or just want more information about the process, don't be afraid to ask your attorney questions. At your first meeting, feel free to ask questions about the timing, scope, and process of the divorce.
Some common questions we get include:
1. Do you think I’ll need to pay alimony?
2. How does the court figure out child custody?
3. How long is this going to take?
4. Will I need to testify in court?
The more you understand the process and the more we understand your goals, the better we can tailor the process to meet your needs.
2. A Plan
With that in mind, it is important that you spend some time thinking about what you want to accomplish through this divorce. Many people come into our office with the sole goal of punishing their spouse. While that feeling is understandable, it is not likely to be the best course - especially when it is weighed against the competing goals of helping you move on or keeping custody of your children. Be prepared to talk about what goals you’d like to set for the divorce.
3. Financial Documents
Once we have a good idea of your goals, we’ll need to get down to the business of analyzing your assets, liabilities, and property. This task is made much easier if you come prepared with your financial documents in order. Make a list of your assets, liabilities, and property, then go hunt down the documents in each category. If you come with tax returns, mortgage statements, retirement account balances, and other financial documents, it’ll decrease the amount of time we spend sorting those documents for you.
4. Personal Documents
Along with financial documents, bring personal documents to help paint a picture of the relationship for the court. Write down a timeline of your relationship with important dates like when you were married, had your first child, bought a home, etc. If you need to document certain negative behavior, such as substance abuse or domestic violence, start thinking about how you will collect evidence like email, letters, and potential witnesses. If you have already started to collect that information, this would be a good time to pull it out, organize it, and make copies of it if you fear it may disappear.
5. Candor
Finally, remember, we're here to help you. In order for us to do our best work we need all your information. It's extremely important to let us guide the strategy given all your facts. Too many times clients withhold information thinking it's not pertinent to their case. They often think by not disclosing it to their attorney they are helping themselves, but 99% of the time that information eventually comes out which leads to damage control. This ultimately results in a more costly and potentially less successful outcome. The upshot is to be as open as you can so we can help you.
San Diego Child Custody disputes can cut you off from access to your kids.
Our managing attorney Zephry Hill forwarded me this question regarding whether a wife can stop her husband from seeing his kids. The question reads:
“My sister left her husband and she does not want him to see the kids because he is involved with the law right now and he is unstable. Can she refuse him the right to see the girls even though they are married?”
For the most part, if you are living together, you can’t limit your spouse’s access to your kids as long as you are married. In this case, since it sounds like she moved out and took the kids, she does have some options.
First off, she can simply refuse to grant him access to the children. However, this option is only temporary. Once she refuses him access, the husband can go file an action with the court to establish rights of visitation. In that action, the wife will be given the chance to present her evidence about any abusive or unstable actions that the husband has taken, and the court will make a determination of what is in the best interest of the child.
If she wants to be the one that initiates this process, she can file a custody action with the court and seek sole custody. It is important to note that to be successful she will need to be looking into getting a legal separation or divorce at the same time.
One final option is to seek a temporary restraining order followed by a protection order. These orders cut off all contact between the husband and his children for a short period of time. Although, it may be difficult in this situation because it doesn’t sound like there is any evidence of abuse.
From the perspective of the husband, the wife has quite a few arrows in her quiver to cut off access to his kids. Losing a battle for child custody has serious consequences that can range from being removed from your home to permanently losing access to your children. It is for this reason that you need representation from a firm who will fight for your rights. If your spouse has cut-off access to your children or you are facing a custody dispute, consider Goldberg Jones for your San Diego child custody attorneys. We are happy to take any questions you have on the phone for free, please give us a call at: (619) 243-0888.
Judge in Connecticut Divorce: Go swap Facebook & Match.com passwords with your ex!
A judge in Connecticut orders divorcing parties to exchange social network passwords. While it has always been possible to request information from Facebook, this is the first time I've seen the court require parties give full access to their social accounts.
Judge Kenneth Shluger ordered that the attorneys for Stephen and Courtney Gallion exchange “their client’s Facebook and dating website passwords.”
[... One party's lawyer explained]
“I see the information people can get from computers, in lawsuits and through hacking,” says Traystman. “They scare the hell out of me.”
The moral of the story is watch out what you post on Facebook and wait until after the divorce to open up your Match.com profile. If you’re about to divorce, don't make the mistake of ranting on Facebook thinking it will be hidden forever. Your angry late-night post could become fodder for the judge who is deciding your case.
While we haven't seen a judge order unlimited access in a San Diego divorce case, we do use evidence from public Facebook posts all the time. However, I wouldn't be surprised if soon we see local lawyers trying to get access to private posts.
This is why it’s extremely important to have a San Diego divorce lawyer on your side. Goldberg Jones is here to help protect your rights as a husband and father. Give us a call for free answers to your questions at (619) 243-0888.
Goldberg Jones Welcomes San Diego Divorce Lawyer, Angela Nalu, to the firm!
Goldberg Jones, a San Diego law firm focused exclusively on divorce and family law for men, has added Angela Nalu as an attorney to its practice. Angela is an exceptionally qualified attorney, and we are very excited to have her as an addition to the firm.
Aside from being a great attorney Angela’s many accomplishments include: the 2007 National Mediation Champion, working in an alternative dispute center, and more recently a position with the San Diego Juvenile courts representing more than 200 children in the dependency system, reunifying children with their parents.
“Angela’s passion for Family Law and knack for settlement serves her clients well” says managing attorney Zephyr Hill. Not only does Angela bring a great skill set to the table when it comes to representing the best interests of children in child custody disputes, but she is also superb in handling financial matters.
Angela has a degree in economics and has worked for Arthur Anderson and Northrop Grumman providing financial analysis in many capacities. “Angela can handle complex financial issues and this separates her from many family law attorneys” touts Zephyr Hill.
Angela says she has always been drawn to the practice of family law and is eager to help fathers and husbands protect their rights in this very difficult process. Moreover, she “likes to settle cases out of court” but she has no aversion to “gearing up for trial and being aggressive” when it is necessary.
Angela graduated from University of California Los Angeles summa cum laude with a Bachelor of Arts in Economics and received her law degree from the University of California Hastings College of Law.
Out of the office, Angela enjoys travel, surfing, running, and is a self proclaimed “foodie”.
Secrets of a Successful Second Marriage
I got this article in the Wall Street Journal from a colleague of mine about the success rate of second marriages. It starts with this sobering if not obvious fact. Overall, second marriages are shorter. The reason being that second marriages begin later in life and are more likely to end when a spouse dies.
Nevertheless, the divorce rates among second marriages are relatively low. This is a attributed to the fact that many learn from the mistakes of their first marriage. They gain understanding of what they need in a mate, and what they cannot tolerate, making them more careful about choosing the second time around.
"The fact that the divorce rate isn't higher for remarriages shows that a lot of people are trying very hard and with great success to make their second marriages work," says Andrew Cherlin, professor of sociology and public policy at Johns Hopkins University. "We used to think that second marriages were much more fragile."
The divorce rate, which peaked around 1980, is at its lowest level since the 1970s, according to the Census Bureau. In 2009, 9.2 out of every 1,000 men age 15-plus, and 9.7 out of every 1,000 women, divorced in the past 12 months. People often cite the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce. This number may no longer hold. The Census Bureau last looked at this number in 1996, and estimated some 50% of first marriages end in divorce, noting that number was based on numerical modeling, not survey data. It didn't address the question of second marriages. Many experts now believe the rate is in the 40% range."
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904106704576580652976268350.html
It is articles like this one that help me stay optimistic about the process and the end goal of divorce. When you focus on family law as a profession, you see the whole gamut of divorces. Some clients are shocked to be participating in a divorce, others have been waiting for years to finally end an unhappy relationship. With either case, divorce can be a springboard or a stumbling block - it is our job to make sure it is the former.
By protecting your rights while keeping an eye towards the future, the San Diego Divorce Attorneys at Goldberg Jones are committed helping you come out of your divorce with the best foot forward.
Changed Jobs, Modifying Alimony – Just be Glad you Aren’t in Florida.
Huffington Post ran an interesting article this week about the divorce laws in Florida. The short summary is be glad that you are not getting a divorce in Florida. Between old school judges, indefinite alimony agreements, and orders to keep paying alimony even after you've lost your job, Florida does not sound like a good place to be divorced.
"Ninety-seven percent of alimony payers are men. In rare cases in Florida, when women are ordered to pay alimony, it's invariably short-term.
Walking papers in hand, laid-off workers must return to divorce court, plead for relief in their alimony payments, and hope against hope that it's coming. It helps to show up with a lawyer, and it helps to expect the worst. A judge told a petitioner several years ago that he should have been saving money for alimony in case he lost his job.
For him and other payers, there is no automatic end to or reduction in alimony, even at retirement, even when the payer is disabled or retirement is required, as with airline pilots. Couples divide marital assets, including pensions--or judges divide them, often giving women more than half--and the payer is expected to work forever or use his assets to pay alimony, even though the ex has gotten her fair share."
One advantage that we have in California is that the law is slightly more balanced between the sexes. There is not "the prevailing attitude is that men are sugar daddies and women are helpless." Also, it is almost unheard of to see alimony payments that extend indefinitely.
In fact, the statute that governs calculating alimony has the stated goal "that the supported party shall be self-supporting within a reasonable period of time." Nevertheless, the number of women that receive alimony payments far exceed the number of men.
The biggest mistake that we see with men and alimony is not taking corrective action when your financial situation has changed. If you have lost a job, retired, or seen an increase in medical/living expenses, you have the right to petition the court to adjust your payments. It is a relatively easy process and if you have all your updated financial documents together we can put together a petition in a brief time. However, the court won't do it retroactively, as soon as you've had a change you need to be in court asking for an alimony modification. Too many men come into our office after months of being unemployed asking for help and unfortunately, our options are limited.
If are facing an unbearable burden from your monthly alimony payments, remember that there are people out there to help you. Goldberg Jones has made a name for itself by protecting the rights of the Men of San Diego County. If you have any questions about modifying your alimony payments, give us a call and we'll answer your questions for free.