how to know when to divorce

Should I Get Divorced?

Goldberg Jones Divorce Leave a Comment

If your marriage is falling apart, you likely have many questions. What to do? How to proceed? Where to turn? One of, if not the biggest, you have to answer is should I get divorced?

This is a huge decision, one that changes every facet of your life. It has ramifications that continue for years. As such, it’s not one to take lightly. 

No one can decide if you should get divorced for you. You have to weigh the details of your specific situation and make the choice yourself.

Within this single, larger question, lurk smaller questions and areas to examine.

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Is my marriage over?

Deciding to divorce is a heart-wrenching process. Determining if divorce is the best path, or if the marriage is salvageable, is a difficult road to travel.

If you’re contemplating dissolving your marriage, you may feel lost and overwhelmed. As divorce attorneys, we’re well acquainted with the challenges and hardships that accompany the process.

We advise all our clients to carefully consider their options before filing.

While every situation is unique and every relationship has its own set of circumstances, considering the following topics often help to determine how to move forward.

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Communication

Romantic, friendship, or business, all relationships rely on communication. When communication breaks down, bonds will quickly deteriorate.

If you’re considering divorce, chances are you’ve hit some potholes when it comes to communication.

Communication issues make it difficult to identify and address other underlying problems. 

Many couples benefit from working with a marriage counselor or therapist. A trained professional helps point out and overcome obstacles to communication.

Even if it doesn’t resolve your marital problems, learning to communicate effectively makes the divorce process easier.

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Loss of Love

You may feel like you lost that loving feeling.

This is an all-too-common sensation. Couples frequently grow apart over the years. The spark often disappears and you wind up more like glorified roommates than husband and wife.

There’s no single reason for this. New careers or moves disrupt some couples. Political differences divide many marriages. Children leaving home often change the dynamic of a relationship drastically. Sometimes people simply evolve in different directions as they age.

If you’ve tried to rekindle the romance with no success, it may be time to move on.

Even couples who were perfectly matched at one time aren’t immune to growing apart. For those where the fire has gone out, they often must decide if you can repair the damage or if it’s time to divorce.

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Infidelity

Infidelity is a marriage killer. 

True reconciliation is possible, but many spouses are unable to get past adultery. Even if you can, it’s often a long, difficult path to repair the broken trust, resentment, and pain. Many marriages simply can’t withstand that weight.

Talking to a counselor or therapist, or even discussing the matter with trusted friends and family, often helps you determine if this betrayal is something you can get past or irreparably harmed your marriage.

Again, in the end, you must make the choice for yourself.

Related Reading: How Adultery Really Impacts Divorce

Fighting

High conflict marriages present a unique set of circumstances.

Constant fighting and disagreements take their toll emotionally and physically. If your personal safety, or the safety of your children, is in jeopardy, it’s essential you protect yourself and your kids.

Most relationships come with some amount of friction and conflict. But like with other considerations, you may find yourself at a tipping point.

If all you do is fight, if you can’t see each other without arguing or yelling, that may be a sign. Especially if you’ve tried counselors and therapists, and strategies to minimize the strife, to no avail.

You must honestly evaluate your situation and determine whether or not you can overcome these disagreements. If not, it may be time to consider if you should divorce.

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Finances

Finances are a huge factor in divorce. On the other side of that, divorce has a huge impact on your finances. 

Strain from financial struggles is hard enough on its own, and they often worsen other problems in a marriage.

Divorce comes with significant financial implications. When considering ending your marriage, take the time to evaluate how it will your finances. Assess your assets, debts, and expenses.

Having a complete picture of your economic footing may help you decide whether or not you should divorce.

Even in the best of times, divorce is a complicated beast. It’s normal to struggle with circumstances and changes.

Ending a marriage is a difficult decision. Take the time to consider these and other factors. Being informed about the process and the implications goes a long way to helping you make the right choice.

Related ReadingRebuilding Finances After Divorce

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